Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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