no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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