I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
