I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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