I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sober January is a disaster.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
