You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
