Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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