I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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