what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
