You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
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Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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