Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You smell like stripper and shame
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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