ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize