Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
