I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
