do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
