I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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