I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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