There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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