we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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