She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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