after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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