May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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