Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You've changed since you got that strap on
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
