I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
