My sheets look like a crime scene.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
