I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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