Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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