He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
