did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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