bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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