HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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