I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
