I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I did not marry a roomba.
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