Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
where are you?
Hypothermia
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
