how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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