So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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