Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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