i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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