he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
