So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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