Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
