maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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