I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
