Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
