Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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