it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
