That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
