NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
