It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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