it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
