He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
