i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
