i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
