I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
