I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
