Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
