You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
