and my herpes radar will keep us safe
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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