if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
