Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
