I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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