tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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