Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
