he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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