youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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